I know they don’t want to hear it, but it’s coming up fast. Summer daze allows for looser rules, more TV and video games, with later bedtimes. When all this comes to a screeching halt, it can be a very rude awakening!
You can avoid the chaos of back to school with a little planning. Get back into school mode routines during the two weeks before school is back in session. Gradually move bedtimes up to accommodate earlier rising hours to help kids reform their habits. Plan to have meals at normal times again, including breakfast for the kids. Another tactic is to use the time that would ordinarily be used for homework for reading, especially if they haven’t completed their summer list. This will help to reestablish this habit of schoolwork at home. I don’t want you to be accused of “ruining summer”, so don’t go overboard. Begin slowly and work up.
It is also time to take control of those spaces that will be used differently during the school term. Enlist the kids to clear up their rooms so they aren’t tripping over summer clutter as they run to catch the bus. Clear up the homework area, make it conducive to studying. Maybe it’s a desk in the child’s room or den; maybe it’s your kitchen table. (Kids aren’t the only ones who get lax this time of year). Eliminate as many distractions as possible to help kids focus and get the work done.
A good closet purge is in order, how can you know what school clothes they need if you don’t know what they have. Avoid the duplicates and the sock-less-ness. Kids grow like weeds so likely they’ll need a lot, don’t keep what no longer fits. Hand it down, donate it, or discard the beat up duds. You can also take a sneak peek at what they haven’t worn all summer, too. I always tell my clients, you can keep it all if you promise to stop shopping. uh-huh, thought so! Take the time to get the drawers and closet organized so that kids can find the attire they desire in their early morning stupors.
Here’s the biggie, the first day of school dry run. Choose a morning a couple of days before D-Day and run through the morning. You can either make it a game for your kids, or simply go through a checklist for your own piece of mind. The night before the actual day of school, have the kids pick out and lay out their outfits for the day. Fill their backpacks with day one essentials and place them by the door or where they would normally expect to find them. Stage your kitchen to make breakfast and lunch preparation a cinch. I overslept on my first day of high school, so I know how important it is to prepare the night before. Without the preparation, I might have been socially scarred for life or worse, a tardy on my permanent record.
You have planned, organized, and restored routines; your house is now a lean, mean, back to school machine!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sharing Time with Others...a Message of Communication.
Now, you may argue that I am simply kvetching about bad customer service and I would concede. However, we are all concerned about wasting our time, but we rarely notice how we are wasting other's. We are forced to share time with other people all day, the bank teller, the random person who answers the phone, the person you are waiting for an e-mail from, the person in front or behind you in a line.
Here is my real life example of communication gone awry, causing shared time to be wasted. Fast food drive-thru, 8:45AM, must have caffeine! I order my large Diet Coke from the voice box on the curb. The voice says, "large diet coke, will that complete your order?" "Yes." "$2.00 at the first window." I see that the writing on the screen says large Coke, so I say, "I see that the screen says Coke, I want a Diet Coke." Voice Box says, "it's still $2.00." Fair enough, so I drive around and pay my $2.00, as there is no discount for having the sugar removed, apparently. A seemingly disembodied arm is extended from window #2 holding what I assume to be my beloved large Diet Coke. I grab it, check the lid...the "diet" button is pushed, almost there...I ask the woman who is attached to the arm, "I just want to make certain this is diet." "Yup" and the window closed. Phew! As I drive off while stripping my straw and sticking into the lid, I feel that I am ready to begin my day. At the stop light, I finally get a sip of the sweet nectar. Ugh! This is not my sweet nectar at all! I can feel the fur start to form on my teeth and that tingly feeling in my gums...this is REGULAR!!!! Spitting and sputtering throught the intersection, me, not my car, I am so angry! I gave them two opportunities to correct what I suspected may become an error in my order...two chances not to screw up my morning! So, do I turn around and get a replacement, afterall, I did pay my $2.00! Or do I toss this out and settle for a can from the vending machine at my client's office? I spin my SUV around in a parking lot masterfully pulling off the 20-point turn and head back! In my head, the various ways to play this swirl around. Ask for the manager? Point out whose error it was in a blow by blow manner in a very teacher-esque voice? Or just flat out bitchy? I pull open that glass door with a vengeance, cup in hand, saunter up to the counter and....sweetly say, can I have another cup, please, I asked for diet at the drive-thru, but got regular? The girls says sure and hands me another cup, the disembodied arm chick sashays over and say, "ohhh, that wasn't diet?" I really wanted to punch her in the head, but I wanted my firestarter beverage more, so I got my own damn drink!
My lesson here is sharing time requires good communication, not only delivering it, but receiving it, as well. Listen to what people say to you, ask questions if you don't understand it, and for Heaven's sake do it right the first time and you only have to do it ONCE!!!
Here is my real life example of communication gone awry, causing shared time to be wasted. Fast food drive-thru, 8:45AM, must have caffeine! I order my large Diet Coke from the voice box on the curb. The voice says, "large diet coke, will that complete your order?" "Yes." "$2.00 at the first window." I see that the writing on the screen says large Coke, so I say, "I see that the screen says Coke, I want a Diet Coke." Voice Box says, "it's still $2.00." Fair enough, so I drive around and pay my $2.00, as there is no discount for having the sugar removed, apparently. A seemingly disembodied arm is extended from window #2 holding what I assume to be my beloved large Diet Coke. I grab it, check the lid...the "diet" button is pushed, almost there...I ask the woman who is attached to the arm, "I just want to make certain this is diet." "Yup" and the window closed. Phew! As I drive off while stripping my straw and sticking into the lid, I feel that I am ready to begin my day. At the stop light, I finally get a sip of the sweet nectar. Ugh! This is not my sweet nectar at all! I can feel the fur start to form on my teeth and that tingly feeling in my gums...this is REGULAR!!!! Spitting and sputtering throught the intersection, me, not my car, I am so angry! I gave them two opportunities to correct what I suspected may become an error in my order...two chances not to screw up my morning! So, do I turn around and get a replacement, afterall, I did pay my $2.00! Or do I toss this out and settle for a can from the vending machine at my client's office? I spin my SUV around in a parking lot masterfully pulling off the 20-point turn and head back! In my head, the various ways to play this swirl around. Ask for the manager? Point out whose error it was in a blow by blow manner in a very teacher-esque voice? Or just flat out bitchy? I pull open that glass door with a vengeance, cup in hand, saunter up to the counter and....sweetly say, can I have another cup, please, I asked for diet at the drive-thru, but got regular? The girls says sure and hands me another cup, the disembodied arm chick sashays over and say, "ohhh, that wasn't diet?" I really wanted to punch her in the head, but I wanted my firestarter beverage more, so I got my own damn drink!
My lesson here is sharing time requires good communication, not only delivering it, but receiving it, as well. Listen to what people say to you, ask questions if you don't understand it, and for Heaven's sake do it right the first time and you only have to do it ONCE!!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Horrified by Your Mess?
It's a common question...what do you do? As I begin to tell people that I am a Certified Professional Organizer, the look of horror fades over their face. Of course, those are only the people that know what that means. Yikes! It's not like I said I was a paid assassin!
So, instead of the simple smile and nod, I get, "Oh you DO NOT want to see my...(fill in the blank) desk, kitchen, garage,office, bedroom..."
Why do you think that I care? If you are not sharing my space or one of my clients, I don't care about your desk, kitchen, garage, office, bedroom...! I will never be horrified by anyone's disorganization, chaos, or mess.
Most Professional Organizers have not taken a vow to single-handedly take on the world's disorganization. Yes, we are excited to help those who want and need assistance to get control over their space, stuff, time and lives. But, we don't randomly go around judging people's "messes."
My favorite response when I tell folks that I am a Professional Organizer...I sooo need you!
And, then, I begin to care about your mess, we will tackle it together!
So, instead of the simple smile and nod, I get, "Oh you DO NOT want to see my...(fill in the blank) desk, kitchen, garage,office, bedroom..."
Why do you think that I care? If you are not sharing my space or one of my clients, I don't care about your desk, kitchen, garage, office, bedroom...! I will never be horrified by anyone's disorganization, chaos, or mess.
Most Professional Organizers have not taken a vow to single-handedly take on the world's disorganization. Yes, we are excited to help those who want and need assistance to get control over their space, stuff, time and lives. But, we don't randomly go around judging people's "messes."
My favorite response when I tell folks that I am a Professional Organizer...I sooo need you!
And, then, I begin to care about your mess, we will tackle it together!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Do-It-Yourself Organizing
One would suppose that since I am in business as a Professional Organizer, I would oppose the concept of Do It Yourself Organizing. On the contrary, I believe that most people are quite capable of doing the work that it takes to get organized and tend to appreciate the effort more so they strive to maintain it. People usually just need an objective eye, a plan and some motivation.
The objective eye…I call it the Eyes of a Stranger; you see your home or office the same way everyday. I see it as a professional trained to streamline, simplify, and organize. As I combine what my trained eye sees and what you have to say about your goals, your life/work style, and your frustrations, a plan begins to formulate for me. I ask a lot of questions in an effort to truly find a solution, not just a band-aid. That is one of the reasons why it is so important to find the right organizer for you, as I get “all up in your business” without even touching a thing.
Now, the Plan…first, I have to make sure that it aims to meet your goals. I need to take care that it is step-by-step and simple to follow, because we all know that the harder it is, the more likely we won’t do it. It must be broken down into small manageable chunks so that you don’t need a week off to complete it all at once. I also must be certain that you get to see progress along the way, this is a big motivator!
Motivation…seeing some progress as you work is important to keep you focused and plugging away. The sheer pleasure of vacuum lines in a carpet or a perfectly organized desk drawer, it speaks volumes. But, what if you lose steam? What if a part of the plan didn’t work as expected? What if a process isn’t working? Here I am again, via e-mail or on the phone…even if it means a follow-up visit. I am here to prop you up, help tweak a process, or rework a plan. I have an arsenal of ideas, suggestions, and a whole lot of experience in getting things “squared away”.
Remember, I will help you through the process; it will almost always look worse before it looks better; and most importantly…the organizing project is 10%, the maintenance of the work you have done is 90%. Just like dieting, it’s a lifestyle change.
The objective eye…I call it the Eyes of a Stranger; you see your home or office the same way everyday. I see it as a professional trained to streamline, simplify, and organize. As I combine what my trained eye sees and what you have to say about your goals, your life/work style, and your frustrations, a plan begins to formulate for me. I ask a lot of questions in an effort to truly find a solution, not just a band-aid. That is one of the reasons why it is so important to find the right organizer for you, as I get “all up in your business” without even touching a thing.
Now, the Plan…first, I have to make sure that it aims to meet your goals. I need to take care that it is step-by-step and simple to follow, because we all know that the harder it is, the more likely we won’t do it. It must be broken down into small manageable chunks so that you don’t need a week off to complete it all at once. I also must be certain that you get to see progress along the way, this is a big motivator!
Motivation…seeing some progress as you work is important to keep you focused and plugging away. The sheer pleasure of vacuum lines in a carpet or a perfectly organized desk drawer, it speaks volumes. But, what if you lose steam? What if a part of the plan didn’t work as expected? What if a process isn’t working? Here I am again, via e-mail or on the phone…even if it means a follow-up visit. I am here to prop you up, help tweak a process, or rework a plan. I have an arsenal of ideas, suggestions, and a whole lot of experience in getting things “squared away”.
Remember, I will help you through the process; it will almost always look worse before it looks better; and most importantly…the organizing project is 10%, the maintenance of the work you have done is 90%. Just like dieting, it’s a lifestyle change.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Time...Is It Really On Your Side?
One thing we can be sure of is there will never be more than 24 hours in a day. Time doesn’t discriminate, no one has more or less than you, however, some may utilize it better.
*Do you have enough time to do the things you really want to do? *Do you get enough sleep and regular exercise? *Do you feel in control of your daily schedule? *Do you have trouble deciding what to do next? *Do things tend to pile up? *Do you feel that you are always working and never seeming to have fun? *Do you often give up because things overwhelm you? Maybe you can get some of your time back with just a few adjustments.
If you aren’t afraid of a little free time try some of these tips for time management. First, there is the calendar, ah, the great keeper of dates, use only one! That’s right, toss out all of those cutie petutie little pocket calendars and the big desk blotter to invest in a portable calendar that has enough space for multiple daily entries. Enter all appointments both personal and work related, all birthdays, all kids’ soccer games, picnics, PTA meetings, etc. Everything on one calendar, in one place, with you. No more missed deadlines, no more over booking yourself, and no more rescheduling.
The To Do List, I love the To Do List! The satisfaction of crossing off completed tasks is invigorating. Try not to misuse the list as a device of procrastination; simply jotting it down does not relieve any of the sense of urgency to get the job done. There will be tedious items as well as huge projects on your list. Break down the large items into smaller chunks, it makes them less overwhelming to tackle and before you know it, the whole thing is over. Another note of caution, don’t get bogged down in the easy stuff, note your priorities and go for the biggest payoff first. The greatest tip I have is to schedule time, literally, on your calendar to complete these big tasks. You will always go to that massage scheduled for 2PM on the 18th, so use the same routine for working out, cleaning the basement, whatever you have To Do.
“My time is not my own”…everyone feels this way now and again, and in fact it’s true. All day long you share your time with co-workers, family, and even the clerk at the Post Office. We don’t spend that much time alone. So, here are some thoughts to make this shared time better spent. Good communication is key. Be courteous and concise, be sure you are listening carefully to what the other person is saying and respond accordingly. Long emotional stories, not answering or asking the right questions makes the interaction last twice as long wasting two peoples’ time. If you are delegating either at work or to your children, remember to be clear about your objectives and give a realistic deadline. Invest in future delegated projects through generous praise and moderate criticisms. Always remember that just because you delegated it, you are still ultimately responsible. Delegation will usually save you time and always strengthens another’s abilities.
Avoiding distractions may seem impossible, I say this because as I write, the FedEx guy just dropped a package on my stoop and I, of course, had to stop to open it. My new boots, fabulous! Now, back to what I was saying, distractions are everywhere. At work there is the colleague that wants to talk about last night’s episode of Survivor while your deadline looms over your head. It’s okay to say, “Can we chat later? I have to finish this”, it’s not rude, it’s just business. It’s harder with your kids, but if you remember that putting them off for a half hour while you finish something important will yield more quality time with them later, you can do it! If you need to discuss something with a colleague, or even your child, go to their office or room. You can leave when you want; this is a surefire tactic to getting you back to what you need to do faster.
Your calendar and To Do List are your allies in the war against wasted time. Wage on!
*Do you have enough time to do the things you really want to do? *Do you get enough sleep and regular exercise? *Do you feel in control of your daily schedule? *Do you have trouble deciding what to do next? *Do things tend to pile up? *Do you feel that you are always working and never seeming to have fun? *Do you often give up because things overwhelm you? Maybe you can get some of your time back with just a few adjustments.
If you aren’t afraid of a little free time try some of these tips for time management. First, there is the calendar, ah, the great keeper of dates, use only one! That’s right, toss out all of those cutie petutie little pocket calendars and the big desk blotter to invest in a portable calendar that has enough space for multiple daily entries. Enter all appointments both personal and work related, all birthdays, all kids’ soccer games, picnics, PTA meetings, etc. Everything on one calendar, in one place, with you. No more missed deadlines, no more over booking yourself, and no more rescheduling.
The To Do List, I love the To Do List! The satisfaction of crossing off completed tasks is invigorating. Try not to misuse the list as a device of procrastination; simply jotting it down does not relieve any of the sense of urgency to get the job done. There will be tedious items as well as huge projects on your list. Break down the large items into smaller chunks, it makes them less overwhelming to tackle and before you know it, the whole thing is over. Another note of caution, don’t get bogged down in the easy stuff, note your priorities and go for the biggest payoff first. The greatest tip I have is to schedule time, literally, on your calendar to complete these big tasks. You will always go to that massage scheduled for 2PM on the 18th, so use the same routine for working out, cleaning the basement, whatever you have To Do.
“My time is not my own”…everyone feels this way now and again, and in fact it’s true. All day long you share your time with co-workers, family, and even the clerk at the Post Office. We don’t spend that much time alone. So, here are some thoughts to make this shared time better spent. Good communication is key. Be courteous and concise, be sure you are listening carefully to what the other person is saying and respond accordingly. Long emotional stories, not answering or asking the right questions makes the interaction last twice as long wasting two peoples’ time. If you are delegating either at work or to your children, remember to be clear about your objectives and give a realistic deadline. Invest in future delegated projects through generous praise and moderate criticisms. Always remember that just because you delegated it, you are still ultimately responsible. Delegation will usually save you time and always strengthens another’s abilities.
Avoiding distractions may seem impossible, I say this because as I write, the FedEx guy just dropped a package on my stoop and I, of course, had to stop to open it. My new boots, fabulous! Now, back to what I was saying, distractions are everywhere. At work there is the colleague that wants to talk about last night’s episode of Survivor while your deadline looms over your head. It’s okay to say, “Can we chat later? I have to finish this”, it’s not rude, it’s just business. It’s harder with your kids, but if you remember that putting them off for a half hour while you finish something important will yield more quality time with them later, you can do it! If you need to discuss something with a colleague, or even your child, go to their office or room. You can leave when you want; this is a surefire tactic to getting you back to what you need to do faster.
Your calendar and To Do List are your allies in the war against wasted time. Wage on!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Joy is...a Junk Drawer
To love me is to love my junk drawer. Let’s take a minute to really think about that, we have already identified this stuff as “junk”, yet we have assigned it a drawer all to itself. If there truly is no known use for these things, why do we keep them?
As I see it, there are two solutions for this absurdity; the first is, naturally to pitch the contents of this drawer into the local trash receptacle and call it a day. The second option is to sort out the drawer and then I would like to petition for a new drawer moniker. Maybe it could be called the “random items with potential usefulness drawer”.
I was conducting a workshop with a 5th grade class a few months ago. I went around the room to ask everyone what was in the junk drawer at their houses. The answers ran the gamut of crazy glue, a lone sock, papers, string, etc. I was unmoved until this one girl said, and I quote, “miscellaneous stuff that I haven’t found a place for yet.” Holy Cow! What we have here people, is a future Professional Organizer! Her stuff wasn’t junk, it was simply homeless.
A person’s junk drawer can be more revealing and personal that the medicine cabinet. So, what’s in your junk drawer? Is it just items that haven’t found a home yet, or something more interesting? There is the run of the mill rubber bands, bread twist ties, dead batteries (because they just might regenerate), screwdriver, safety pins, candy (melted and stuck to the wrapper), scraps of paper with random scribbling, and crumbs. Yeah, this is something I will never understand, a junk drawer that isn’t even in the kitchen gets crumbs in it! How does that happen?! I digress.
Have a more exotic exhibit? Your life may be more exciting than most, sand from a tropical beach, gold coins, and drink umbrellas fill your drawer.
Whatever your mix, it’s probably time to clean it out. There are two steadfast rules for junk drawers: the contents must have a reasonable potential use and there can only be one per household.
Grab an old newspaper, spread it out over your table and dump out the drawer, you heard me…DUMP it! Easy from here, throw out the trash. Sort out all of the items into different categories, like office supplies, kitchen stuff, unknown, etc. Next you will likely discover items that really do have bona fide homes, put them away so you can find them quickly next time. The items that are left need good hard objective decisions. Remember, love it, use it, or need it…otherwise, get it out of your house. Once you’ve made the tough choices, find a drawer divider or organizer to maintain some semblance of order in your “potentially useful item drawer.” Don’t let your drawer get out of control again, put stuff away where it belongs and don’t keep things you’ll never use just because you have a drawer for that.
Now you will love your junk drawer, too!
As I see it, there are two solutions for this absurdity; the first is, naturally to pitch the contents of this drawer into the local trash receptacle and call it a day. The second option is to sort out the drawer and then I would like to petition for a new drawer moniker. Maybe it could be called the “random items with potential usefulness drawer”.
I was conducting a workshop with a 5th grade class a few months ago. I went around the room to ask everyone what was in the junk drawer at their houses. The answers ran the gamut of crazy glue, a lone sock, papers, string, etc. I was unmoved until this one girl said, and I quote, “miscellaneous stuff that I haven’t found a place for yet.” Holy Cow! What we have here people, is a future Professional Organizer! Her stuff wasn’t junk, it was simply homeless.
A person’s junk drawer can be more revealing and personal that the medicine cabinet. So, what’s in your junk drawer? Is it just items that haven’t found a home yet, or something more interesting? There is the run of the mill rubber bands, bread twist ties, dead batteries (because they just might regenerate), screwdriver, safety pins, candy (melted and stuck to the wrapper), scraps of paper with random scribbling, and crumbs. Yeah, this is something I will never understand, a junk drawer that isn’t even in the kitchen gets crumbs in it! How does that happen?! I digress.
Have a more exotic exhibit? Your life may be more exciting than most, sand from a tropical beach, gold coins, and drink umbrellas fill your drawer.
Whatever your mix, it’s probably time to clean it out. There are two steadfast rules for junk drawers: the contents must have a reasonable potential use and there can only be one per household.
Grab an old newspaper, spread it out over your table and dump out the drawer, you heard me…DUMP it! Easy from here, throw out the trash. Sort out all of the items into different categories, like office supplies, kitchen stuff, unknown, etc. Next you will likely discover items that really do have bona fide homes, put them away so you can find them quickly next time. The items that are left need good hard objective decisions. Remember, love it, use it, or need it…otherwise, get it out of your house. Once you’ve made the tough choices, find a drawer divider or organizer to maintain some semblance of order in your “potentially useful item drawer.” Don’t let your drawer get out of control again, put stuff away where it belongs and don’t keep things you’ll never use just because you have a drawer for that.
Now you will love your junk drawer, too!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Kids in Klutter Chaos?
Don’t think that I am here to suggest that you should keep your children in labeled plastic bins. If you do, please poke some holes in them! (the bins, not the kids!)
When do you know that Kids Klutter has become an issue in your home? When you cannot freely pass through the living room, kitchen, or garage without stubbing your toe on a toy or sports equipment; that is Kid Klutter Chaos.
Is that a Barbie® shoe or a Lego® that is wedged between your toes?
Are you hearing the Mom/Dad, where is my ………….? …all the time? Usually that indicates that they either have too much stuff, or there isn’t space for proper storage…
Innocent victims of our sins of excess!
Kiddie loot starts pouring in before they are even stripped from the womb, baby showers make sure of that. Every birthday we inundate them with gifts because that is what we have grown accustomed to doing. It’s what they’ve grown accustomed to receiving…and, not only does the birthday child get gifts; there are the goody bags for the guests, as well!
Christmas is just a birthday to the nth degree. Graduations, baptisms, bar mitzvahs and the lot all supply more stuff.
We indulge them with prizes for good grades, presents when we return from a trip, and your basic bribery booty. So, there it is, and so they learn…good equals goods. What about the pride of a job well done or the smile of delight from a parent?!!
He who dies with the most toys wins. Right?
Stuff creates stress even for children. At the most basic level, it's over-stimulation-- what to play with first?
As children age they begin to see size, name brands, and quality as indicators of class within their stuff. Keeping up with the Joneses’ kids can be very stressful for teens. It becomes more difficult and expensive to keep up with their qualifications for presents.
We should free our kids from this crazy cycle. It won’t be easy! But it can be done!
How?
I.
Placing reasonable value on stuff. An item, toy, clothing, etc should not be allowed to define them, only enhance them.
Ownership has its privileges and its responsibilities. Explain them to your children. Responsibilities: Buying/Receiving, Care, Use, Storage, and finally Disposal.
You certainly wouldn’t get them a dog without explaining all that is entailed…it’s a big deal. Not every chatchke is worthy of a conversation like that of a new dog, however, if it’s not important enough to keep track of…shouldn’t it be passed along to someone else?
Young children have shown the capacity to use their imaginations in amazing ways without store-bought toys. Remember the time you bought this great big beautiful state-of-the-art plaything only to be disappointed when they were far more interested in the box it arrived in? Many of today’s toys tell the whole story, no room for fantasy or imagination, give them the doll, let them build the dream house, buy them the MatchBox®; they should pave their own roads.
My mother used to say that it didn’t matter what was in the box, she just loved a beautifully wrapped present. (Until the year Dad bought her a vacuum cleaner.) It’s the thought that counts.
II.
I advise my clients to shower our older generation with gifts of experiences , consumables, rather than items that they won’t use and don’t need at their age. I believe we need to be more creative when it comes to gifts for children, as well. The families that go to Florida for the Holiday Break have the right idea, except when they spend $1000 to ship all the gifts down and back.
Spend time, not money, give them CDs full of digital pictures from a trip to the zoo (little storage space required, lots of memories to relive). They will want the giant stuffed panda from the gift shop; take a great photo of him/her in front of the Panda exhibit and put it in a frame…take a picture, it lasts longer!
Pick flowers, do something silly with them, get them to help save money for a ski trip, or a cruise, usually they will forego a new baseball hat to put $10 in the FUN bank. Challenge them, you may be surprised…but always follow through, they expect and need consistency. If it’s a special treat, make sure that is VERY clear.
We’ve talked about stopping the influx, next post, I’ll talk about how to start the purge of the load of stuff they already have.
-kb-
When do you know that Kids Klutter has become an issue in your home? When you cannot freely pass through the living room, kitchen, or garage without stubbing your toe on a toy or sports equipment; that is Kid Klutter Chaos.
Is that a Barbie® shoe or a Lego® that is wedged between your toes?
Are you hearing the Mom/Dad, where is my ………….? …all the time? Usually that indicates that they either have too much stuff, or there isn’t space for proper storage…
Innocent victims of our sins of excess!
Kiddie loot starts pouring in before they are even stripped from the womb, baby showers make sure of that. Every birthday we inundate them with gifts because that is what we have grown accustomed to doing. It’s what they’ve grown accustomed to receiving…and, not only does the birthday child get gifts; there are the goody bags for the guests, as well!
Christmas is just a birthday to the nth degree. Graduations, baptisms, bar mitzvahs and the lot all supply more stuff.
We indulge them with prizes for good grades, presents when we return from a trip, and your basic bribery booty. So, there it is, and so they learn…good equals goods. What about the pride of a job well done or the smile of delight from a parent?!!
He who dies with the most toys wins. Right?
Stuff creates stress even for children. At the most basic level, it's over-stimulation-- what to play with first?
As children age they begin to see size, name brands, and quality as indicators of class within their stuff. Keeping up with the Joneses’ kids can be very stressful for teens. It becomes more difficult and expensive to keep up with their qualifications for presents.
We should free our kids from this crazy cycle. It won’t be easy! But it can be done!
How?
I.
Placing reasonable value on stuff. An item, toy, clothing, etc should not be allowed to define them, only enhance them.
Ownership has its privileges and its responsibilities. Explain them to your children. Responsibilities: Buying/Receiving, Care, Use, Storage, and finally Disposal.
You certainly wouldn’t get them a dog without explaining all that is entailed…it’s a big deal. Not every chatchke is worthy of a conversation like that of a new dog, however, if it’s not important enough to keep track of…shouldn’t it be passed along to someone else?
Young children have shown the capacity to use their imaginations in amazing ways without store-bought toys. Remember the time you bought this great big beautiful state-of-the-art plaything only to be disappointed when they were far more interested in the box it arrived in? Many of today’s toys tell the whole story, no room for fantasy or imagination, give them the doll, let them build the dream house, buy them the MatchBox®; they should pave their own roads.
My mother used to say that it didn’t matter what was in the box, she just loved a beautifully wrapped present. (Until the year Dad bought her a vacuum cleaner.) It’s the thought that counts.
II.
I advise my clients to shower our older generation with gifts of experiences , consumables, rather than items that they won’t use and don’t need at their age. I believe we need to be more creative when it comes to gifts for children, as well. The families that go to Florida for the Holiday Break have the right idea, except when they spend $1000 to ship all the gifts down and back.
Spend time, not money, give them CDs full of digital pictures from a trip to the zoo (little storage space required, lots of memories to relive). They will want the giant stuffed panda from the gift shop; take a great photo of him/her in front of the Panda exhibit and put it in a frame…take a picture, it lasts longer!
Pick flowers, do something silly with them, get them to help save money for a ski trip, or a cruise, usually they will forego a new baseball hat to put $10 in the FUN bank. Challenge them, you may be surprised…but always follow through, they expect and need consistency. If it’s a special treat, make sure that is VERY clear.
We’ve talked about stopping the influx, next post, I’ll talk about how to start the purge of the load of stuff they already have.
-kb-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
