Kids in Klutter Chaos?

Don’t think that I am here to suggest that you should keep your children in labeled plastic bins. If you do, please poke some holes in them! (the bins, not the kids!)

When do you know that Kids Klutter has become an issue in your home? When you cannot freely pass through the living room, kitchen, or garage without stubbing your toe on a toy or sports equipment; that is Kid Klutter Chaos.

Is that a Barbie® shoe or a Lego® that is wedged between your toes?

Are you hearing the Mom/Dad, where is my ………….? …all the time? Usually that indicates that they either have too much stuff, or there isn’t space for proper storage…

Innocent victims of our sins of excess!
Kiddie loot starts pouring in before they are even stripped from the womb, baby showers make sure of that. Every birthday we inundate them with gifts because that is what we have grown accustomed to doing. It’s what they’ve grown accustomed to receiving…and, not only does the birthday child get gifts; there are the goody bags for the guests, as well!
Christmas is just a birthday to the nth degree. Graduations, baptisms, bar mitzvahs and the lot all supply more stuff.

We indulge them with prizes for good grades, presents when we return from a trip, and your basic bribery booty. So, there it is, and so they learn…good equals goods. What about the pride of a job well done or the smile of delight from a parent?!!

He who dies with the most toys wins. Right?

Stuff creates stress even for children. At the most basic level, it's over-stimulation-- what to play with first?

As children age they begin to see size, name brands, and quality as indicators of class within their stuff. Keeping up with the Joneses’ kids can be very stressful for teens. It becomes more difficult and expensive to keep up with their qualifications for presents.

We should free our kids from this crazy cycle. It won’t be easy! But it can be done!
How?


I.
Placing reasonable value on stuff. An item, toy, clothing, etc should not be allowed to define them, only enhance them.
Ownership has its privileges and its responsibilities. Explain them to your children. Responsibilities: Buying/Receiving, Care, Use, Storage, and finally Disposal.

You certainly wouldn’t get them a dog without explaining all that is entailed…it’s a big deal. Not every chatchke is worthy of a conversation like that of a new dog, however, if it’s not important enough to keep track of…shouldn’t it be passed along to someone else?


Young children have shown the capacity to use their imaginations in amazing ways without store-bought toys. Remember the time you bought this great big beautiful state-of-the-art plaything only to be disappointed when they were far more interested in the box it arrived in? Many of today’s toys tell the whole story, no room for fantasy or imagination, give them the doll, let them build the dream house, buy them the MatchBox®; they should pave their own roads.


My mother used to say that it didn’t matter what was in the box, she just loved a beautifully wrapped present. (Until the year Dad bought her a vacuum cleaner.) It’s the thought that counts.


II.

I advise my clients to shower our older generation with gifts of experiences , consumables, rather than items that they won’t use and don’t need at their age. I believe we need to be more creative when it comes to gifts for children, as well. The families that go to Florida for the Holiday Break have the right idea, except when they spend $1000 to ship all the gifts down and back.

Spend time, not money, give them CDs full of digital pictures from a trip to the zoo (little storage space required, lots of memories to relive). They will want the giant stuffed panda from the gift shop; take a great photo of him/her in front of the Panda exhibit and put it in a frame…take a picture, it lasts longer!
Pick flowers, do something silly with them, get them to help save money for a ski trip, or a cruise, usually they will forego a new baseball hat to put $10 in the FUN bank. Challenge them, you may be surprised…but always follow through, they expect and need consistency. If it’s a special treat, make sure that is VERY clear.

We’ve talked about stopping the influx, next post, I’ll talk about how to start the purge of the load of stuff they already have.

-kb-